coming up for air

I've been lax in my posting, especially when you consider all that has happened. The situation may continue until the 27th when my work gets the equivalent of a new president. Lets just say I am going to be beyond busy for the next week and leave it at that.

I do feel the need to say a couple things though. This past sunday (17th) we had a baptism and party for our children. I am, to my core, normally averse to large social gatherings. This was incredible though. So many people came, including my best friend of25 years. (thats 1st grade for those doing the math)...all the way from North Carolina. I have to be honest, I worked my butt off getting everything outside tidy and presentable in the garden for the sole purpose of impressing people, not because of any vanity thing, but because I am so desperate to spread the word as it were. Nate and I wandered outside and walked around, I gave him a quick tour, he nodded a lot and said. "You know, I really want to start a garden back home."

I'm counting that as three!

I also found out his father in law has similar proclivities for diggin in the dirt. Its amazing who you'll connect to sometimes.

I also discovered that another longtime friend also recently adopted. I don't know if my example planted that seed or simply gave it a little fertilizer, but I'd like to think that in some way I was at least a snowflake in the avalanch of the decision.

Melinda at Simple, Green, Frugal Co-op penned this fantastic piece. Its amazing sometimes how things seem to be "in the air." I'd like to think that my own transformation has allowed me, in at least some regard to similarly manifest my true self. It did remind me how far I need to go. During one of our late night chats with friends who were visiting this weekend, I found that I was the sole person in the room who, if given the chance, would not return to school to persue a more advanced degree in my field. I do what I do because it pays the bills, is pleasant, allows me to work for an organization that I can "look at myself in the mirror each day" and barring major events like the one currently going on...lets me go home at 4:30 and leave work at work.

There are drawbacks to this though. There are times when I feel like I am cheating, I find the work easy most of the time. I spend 40 hours a week doing something which I have no passion for, I simply derive enjoyment from interactions with my coworkers, and the sense of "helping out" that I get from fixing their technical difficulties. I have wrestled with ennui for most of my life, which I'm sure is equal parts genetic, chemical, and cognative. My demons flog me with alterating blows of doubt, anxiety and angst and how far from my goals I am. But there are moments, like this weekend, when I my joy can barely contain itself. I don't think I could proclaim that I too am living absolutely true to my inner ethos, but I think each baby step I take brings me that much closer, and sometimes (like this weekend) its nice to stop and realize how far we have come.

that being said I have tons of other things that I will try to get posted, but bear with me. Oh, and I spotted potato plants poking through!